It never fails - every time I do something that scares the heck out of me, I’m a better version of myself. I don’t mean in a week, or month, or 5 years. I mean right then. People chase instant gratification every single day, and while most things take time to see the results, facing fears is one of the few things that will light up your world immediately.
I’ve yet to meet a human that doesn’t have fears. They may not admit it, but it’s written all over them. I happen to have several: swimming in open bodies of water, or swimming in general (I’m not a strong swimmer) is one of my biggest. The difference is that I continue to do it in hopes of getting more comfortable. However, the one thing that absolutely paralyzes me, what I’d consider my biggest fear in life, is public speaking. It surprises most people, including myself honestly because I can talk to anybody one-on-one or in small groups, but if I’m put in front of a crowd I have to hold back the throw-up. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’d rather do a million other things.
On the other side of that, I got really tired of saying no. There have been too many opportunities to speak at some awesome events and I just couldn’t work up the courage to do it. I’m not suggesting that I regret my decision, but I get tired of hiding under the table and avoiding what I need to be doing to reach the next generation and impact fellow hunters. Social media only goes so far, writing only goes so far, and it’s tough to shake enough hands and impact them the way we desperately need.
Several years ago when I still had my other business in the beauty industry, I had a client that I barely knew look me straight in the eyes and say, “You’re going to have to speak one day because successful people always speak and you’re going to be successful.” What do you even say to that? I was speechless, probably because I knew she was right. Not to sound vane, but I always knew I’d be successful because I’m persistent in my efforts. It’s never about being the best of anything, it’s about wanting it the most. When I want it, I usually get it because I won’t stop, to the point of obsession and at the expense of many things. I would label myself a workaholic, someone who often struggles to find balance, and who doesn’t take no for an answer in most situations.
Fast forward to November 2019 when I was asked to speak for the Youth Wildlife Conservation Experience at Dallas Safari Club. This would be 400 kids, middle school and high school, most of which have never hunted. It was exactly two months away. I heard my inner voice say, “You’ve got plenty of time.” My very first thought was to sign up for a Dale Carnegie course. I was convinced that I wouldn’t survive those 30 minutes on stage without some guidance. Then I went to sign up and quickly realized I couldn’t afford it. We were in the middle of moving our lives from Texas to Utah, away from family, both starting new jobs, and the timing was terrible for that kind of investment. My solution? Start writing.
I wrote down everything that I felt I needed to say to these kids, which was challenging in itself because I was trying to be mindful of how I spoke about taking an animal’s life and I didn’t want to show trophy photos on stage for fear that it’d overpower some of the most incredible parts of being a hunter. Long story short: I was stressing out. BAD. Insert meltdowns and sleepless nights. How the heck was I going to attract this audience to this lifestyle? Then I realized…when you speak from your heart, it will always be enough. So that’s what I did. And guess what? I survived January 9th at 10:30am. I walked off the stage breathing, with zero puke or fainting episodes. It actually went well - at least that’s what the adults in the room said! One went as far as saying that I needed to start traveling and speaking all over. HAHA! That’s hilarious Peter.
On a more serious note, below are some tips and feedback that I learned from this experience, because so many people reached out before and after my speech with words of encouragement, and many requests for help in overcoming the exact same fear.
OBSERVATIONS:
Kids are the best audience to start with, for the simple fact that they’re not judging you. If they happen to talk, it’s not coming from a disrespectful place - it’s from a low attention span. Totally different!
Your audience is looking forward to what you have to say. They are intentionally sitting there because they want to hear your message, not because someone is holding them hostage. The kids weren’t in school being lectured about a topic that will require homework that evening. It was a field trip - they were just excited to be somewhere off campus!
Nobody is expecting you to be perfect and it’s more relatable when you’re not. I stuttered a little, went blank at one point and had to find my place again, and missed a handful of key points that I really wanted to make, but guess what? They will literally never know that!
TIPS:
Focus on getting through the first 2-3 minutes of what you want to say. You’ll begin to relax a little after that.
Don’t look at anyone directly. This is probably opposite of what others will tell you, but if you just stare into the crowd and see them as a blur, it’s a million times easier in my opinion. I avoided eye contact, but I did make sure to move my head back and forth from each side of the room to attempt to connect with the entire room.
Have trigger questions. Every 5-10 minutes I would ask the audience a question to involve them in the conversation. It was the simplest way for me to relate to them and keep them focused. This is especially important with kids, but I imagine in some instances it would be appropriate with adults too.
Practice what you want to say in front of a mirror. I know this may sounds strange, but it is SO POWERFUL! It’s definitely the most I’ve ever talked to myself, but it paid off. Highly suggest doing the same!
Keep water next to you. I literally said, “Give me a second, I have cotton mouth” into the mic as I reached for some water. I’m not kidding. They giggled and we kept going. No big deal!
Positive Inner Voice: I’m listing this last, when in reality it’s probably the most important. The voice in your head is the loudest and it’s the one we hear more than any other - make sure it is encouraging and supportive.
They said it was the most engaged the kids had ever been with a speaker, which was surreal to hear. I’m not a pro at anything, nor do I want to be, but I walked away feeling inspired to do more in this space. There’s certainly room for growth and it was extremely empowering to overcome. It’s pretty neat that in our efforts to help other people, we end up helping ourselves too! I owe a huge thank you to everyone involved in this pivotal moment in my life, including my awesome audience!
